So there are a lot of things wrong with the world, but this one seems to hit too close to home. As a woman and a mother of two wonderful little girls, and a boy who will of course be living and interacting with women; It rocks me to my core when such terrible sexism still exists and pollutes our world.
I was talking with my Sister, when she mentioned how on several occasions she has heard acquaintances of hers casually joke about their "rape-able-ness", and another girl when warned about the dangers of walking alone at night felt that it was compliment that someone thought that she might get raped. And this is not the first instance in which I have heard these sort of sentiment being shared. Yes, let the disgust sink in.
I hardly know how to convey how sick this makes me feel. How angry. How betrayed. And how heart broken.
First of all, I think I need to state to those who may not understand the problem in these statements, or who may "understand" this "compliment", and God-forbid crave this "compliment". Rape is not sexy. Rape is not a passionate act. Rape has nothing to do with beauty. Rape is not reserved for the attractive and young. Rape is disgusting, depraved, devastating, physically dangerous... and many other adjectives that hold negative connotations. Rapists are not looking for the most attractive person they can find, and they do not hope to give that person any sort of pleasure or satisfaction. Some rapists are getting off on control. Others on another pain... THERE IS NOTHING SEXY ABOUT IT. IT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT. A rape victim is treated like they are less than human.
How is it that our sex, what ever percentage, has been led to believe that their value could be placed in only in sex?! And even more importantly, how have they come to believe that they want, what they don't want by the very definition of the act?!
I am not bashing sex. I am not bashing men. Sex is wonderful, exciting, and beautiful; especially when respect and care is in the equation. And I love men. So this isn't a male bashing post.
I am ashamed that in my country, in my generation, in my gender we could be so backwards. Why are we not striving to be valued for our minds, our emotions, And our bodies. Why are we so fixated on becoming nameless, soulless Breasts, Genitals, and other body parts.
My children will grow up knowing their mother loves them. My children will grow up with their mother telling them how valuable they are as people. My children will know that their mother believes because of Christ everyone is equal, and that because we do not know what is in anothers heart we cannot be a fair judge; and so we should love everyone including ourselves. My children will know that their bodies are beautiful works of art, created specially and uniquely and should always be respected. My children will know their value can only be determined in their own eyes; and that they will be as precious as gold (materialist expression... but you get the point) in their Parents eyes, and in the eyes of their Heavenly Father.
I am not a perfect parent. But I know that these are values that I will instill in my children; because the wish to be raped in order to feel pretty is twisted and wrong, any way you cut it.
Thank you for reading my rant.
- Jess
4 comments:
amen,
it couldn't have been said more perfecly. Thank you!
So sad. I have never even heard those phrases, or thought of anyone taking those thoughts as a compliment. Yikes.
The most common and subtle way I have heard these comments is done in a backwards way. On sitcoms and older unattractive lady will make some comments about not wanting to get raped, and the younger attractive people laugh or roll their eyes.
And then there are blatant incidences where girls talk about each others rape-able-ness.
It's horrifying to hear!
I agree with everything that you said.
It's so sad to hear that some women feel that way and it's heartbreaking as a mother because I know those young women probably didn't have positive mothers or fathers in their lives to teach them their worth.
April
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